NO, I’m not in Jail!?

And which one of you jokers wrote that on the stall door? Jeez, can’t a guy put in some extra time at work? Oh and to the person who took the Sharpie into the bathroom; I’m not from Nantucket! And I never said anything that crass! 😀

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What’s in my bookbag, Meme.

Hey Y’all. Hawk tagged me with the reading meme so here it is…

Rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

The book – Collected Poems of Robert Service. Closest? I had to walk upstairs to get it. It was, however, on the top of the stack of books on the coffee table. Good enough? I hope so. Ok then page 123, let’s see here. A poem named “The Man from Eldorado”. Alright then sentences six through eight, ah, here goes…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

They rattle over roof and wall; they scatter, roll and spread;

The dust is like a shower of golden rain.

The guests a moment stand aghast, then grovel on the floor;

They fight, and snarl, and claw, like beasts of prey;

And then, as everybody grabbed and everybody swore,

The man from Eldorado slipped away.

V

He’s the man from Eldorado, and they found him stiff and dead,

Half covered by the freezing ooze and dirt.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Unfortunately the poetry does not transfer well when one catches it mid stream. The meter and rhyme are completely lost. At least I can read it from beginning to end. Which I recommend be done with all of Roberts works.

I’m not tagging anyone as usual since, as usual, everyone’s already been tagged. However, if you come across this and have not been tagged yet; you are now!

My Kitchen

Miss Harley Quinn tagged me with this “Kitchen Reveal“. So here it is…

________________________________________

White vinyl cabinets
Pond scum green linoleum
1 fluorescent light
Windowless
Galley kitchen

Of all the reasons we moved here
This kitchen was not one of them

So the kitchen becomes a pot
To which we added
5 quarts of sweat
10 bundles of lumber
Stir with a drill
Fold in 1 hammer

We set the oven on Hi destruction
And cooked it for many months
When the timer went off we had

Handmade natural oak cabinets
Stretching to the ceiling
With corner cabinets and spice racks

A Floor with 12″ sand colored tile
Set diagonally
Making diamonds instead of squares

A skylight in between two dome lights
With a spot light over the sink
And counter lights under each cabinet

All visible from the great room
Through the 7 foot by 3 foot pass-through
Cut into the once solid wall

A pass-through decorated by a 10 foot bar
Supported by more oak cabinets and trimmed in tile
For bar-stool seating for 4

A wood valance hung above the bar
4, 4 foot fluorescent bulbs
Illuminating the bar below

With recessed rope lights
Sparkling above the valance
Showcasing the wife’s art

BECAUSE…

My wife loves to cook
And is happy to be in the new kitchen

AND…

I can only make Ramen
So am thankful for my table saw

__________________________________________

I tag Chantal & Susie.

5 Things for me

I have been tagged by Miss Harley Quinn over at Wild Hare to produce a list of “5 gifts I would buy for myself this Christmas if I had “Unlimited” income”. If it has to be for me than here it is:

1). I would buy every ounce of chocolate, all the cocoa plantations, & every business that makes chocolate. Thereby guaranteeing my complete control over all of the women on Earth. BWHA-HA-HAAAA!! I’ll do it just as soon as I finish a couple of chores my wife gave me. She also wants me to run some errands for her too. Of course, she said by the time I get back she’ll have some more for me. BUT as soon as that’s all done I’ll be in control!….providing the wife gives me permission first. I’ll probably have to clean the cat box or something…aw-man. I hate that.

2). I will pay Bill Watterson any price he names to start writing “Calvin & Hobbs” again. Did you hear that Bill. ANY PRICE!! Your panels can be any size you want. You want more vacation? You got it! You want to set your own deadlines? You got it! I will personally see that you get 365 different editors that all report to you. That way you can fire 1 a day for a whole year! Alright Bill,…Just Name Your Price! You’ll Get It!

3). I would buy every castle on Earth. Renovate, restore, & rebuild all of them. I’d make many of them free public museums and the others as bed & breakfasts. I, of course, would take turns living in many of them especially Harlech Castle in Wales.

4). The best equipment for my wood shop and classes at Arrowmont school of Arts & Crafts.

5). House Mountain in Rockbridge county, VA. Here I would grow old in a Cedar-sided house.

Well there’s my list. Thank you Harley for the fun. I now bestow the the fun upon Chantal over at Ain’t Life Strange? if she can ever find the time.

Dobre Den.

And a round for everybody!

Hawk at Hawk’s Place has presented me with two Blogging badges.

 

 

1). Be The Blog. This was created by Mark at MeAndMyDrum. Mark made this is for “Bloggers that make their blog their own, stay with it, are interactive with their readers, and just plain have fun.”.

 

 

2). Best Blogging Buddies for Global Communities. This was created by Colin over at Life who said, “Having received many awards I have decided that it was time I created one for ALL my Blogging Buddies. You are ALL awesome and contribute to the wonderful global communities that we have all created.”.

Thanks to Hawk and to everybody who visits here. I look forward to meeting more of you.

Dobre Den

So Hawk and I were having this discussion, see..

Hawk, of Hawk’s Place, has tagged me with something called “7 things you don’t know, but I do“. My reaction was caught by a passing Courtroom artist.

GALLUMPPHILING – Trying to express to someone, who is well read, worldly, and with expectations, that you got NOTHIN’!!!

.

7 THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW (ABOUT ME), BUT I DO.
1). IT’S NOT ABOUT ME.
I have known for some time now that I was not put here by the Creator to “Rule the world”. My name will not be found in a list of Who’s Who. Nor shall I receive honorary degrees for merit or medals of valor. That is not my purpose. I am here to teach my two children how to find good solid ground near bedrock, clear the ground of brush & debris, then pour footers. After that I will present each of them with a pair of stiles. I will hold each set in place on the footers while my progeny begin to affix their rungs. If I do this correctly by the time they have climbed above me the cement will be cured. I will then let go, stand back and watch as they ascend.

2). WHAT THE COURT OF THE WHITE BEAR IS.
Ever since I was very small I have had Night Terrors. They say your not supposed to remember anything, but occasionally I did. Of all the dreams that stuck with me the Bear dreams were the worst. Usually the bears would TELL me (did you get that, TELL!…) they were Evil and I was dinner then eat me alive. All except for one. Somehow I found myself in a giant natural stone amphitheater, much like an old era stone quarry. It was way up in the Rockies just below the Treeline. Every type of bear I knew of had assembled around me filling the tiers. In the middle was a big Polar bear who stood erect. Purist of white. All the bears were focused on me for it was my trial. I stood accused of being dishonest and apart from the Earth. The White bear, judge, jury, & executioner, then proclaimed to the others and to the World that I was guilty and condemned me. It then ended as they all did. I’m not sure that I’ll ever find redemption for this, but I keep looking.

3). LIGHTNING DOES NOT HURT.
It’s true what they say, You do not hear the bolt that hits you. You do see the light though. You also feel no pain when it does. Oh don’t misunderstand me, it can hurt plenty afterwards. And the rush of the sensation is completely overwhelming. For anyone who has received the common household shock it’s not like that either. I say its got to be exactly like getting hit with a train. Just slower.

4). THE QUIETEST PLACE ON EARTH.
Its on the backside of Little Cranberry Island, Maine. The town of Islesford resides on the other side. 80 or so people living right by the Pier. Calm protected water. If you absolutely must hear something there’s a buoy with that perfect warning bell sound tolling synchronistically with the waves over by the lighthouse.

5). I CAN NOT READ BLACK & WHITE SCRIPT.
On paper or on a monitor. All the letters endlessly jump and dance around (lightly shake your head sideways while reading this). To do so I must play with the lighting or use super big font or change the color fields. You should see my color scheme on my computer. When the IT people work on my business machine they bitch about going blind. I just laugh.

6). CONVERSATION IS FOREIGN TO ME.
No I’m not a shut-in. I just need to flip a switch inside of me to talk to people. It is not a natural condition for me to talk conversationally. Now when that switch is on I can talk to anybody about anything. It bothers me, however, that I must change faces first. Oh I don’t do that with the family. But everyone else, yes. So I have come here to blog. You’ll notice that I do more stating than talking, but I’m working on it. I’m to old to still have this issue.

7). I BELIEVE IN ANIMISM.
This is the belief that all things have a sentient spirit. I accept this statement fully. Trees, stones, rivers, mountains, oceans, etc,etc. Including some man-made items such as ships, cars, guns, buildings, etc,etc. I believe that life surrounds us and is in all things.

Let us start with the ABC’s of me. . . . . . . . . (am i allowed to tag myself?)

Arthur. Could there be a better beginning?

Bear. Hunter & Hunted, Aggressive & Passive. The paradox of Balance.

Castles. I wonder if the local government would give me a license to crenelate my house.

Deeds. It is not what you Think or Say but what you Do that has any real value.

Europe. If you have family over the Pond go see them. If not then go anyway.

Fire. Not a gas, liquid, or solid just absolute perfection. Is it not the most worshipped substance in history?

Gnome. Like the one that my daughter found living in the back woods.

Hildegard Von Bingen. Omni Vox.

Instincts. Listen to them they will not lead you astray.

Jog. It’s good for you.

Karma. Deposits are a blast to make, but be wary of wishes because they are withdrawals & are VERY, VERY expensive.

Lager. If you drink then drink well.

Mountain. I was driving down a mountain road one dark winter’s day during a blizzard. When the snow got to deep for the truck to push I got out and started on foot. When I got down to 4000 feet the snow turned into rain. As I looked down I thought, “Who would want to work in that?” I About Faced and went back up the mountain.

Nocturnal. The night seems to be more alive than the sun bleached day.

Ocean Kayaking. Grab your partner and doce-doe.

Power Naps. I’ll be back in ten minutes…

Quiet. Possibly the most underrated thing we can be. If everyone would just shut the Hell up and listen!

River. The River that bears the Canoe. The Canoe that bears me. I the bearer of the Fishing rod.

Solstice. (WINTER) We take down the outdoor chimes to let the Earth sleep in peace. Leave a candle lit all night out at the Stone to shield us from the long dark. (SUMMER) Wakeup and go outside before Dawn. Infuse bonfires, food and revelry. Keep it going until after Sundown.

Trees. Don’t think, not even for a minute, that the tree outside your window has any use for you other than as fertilizer.

Utopia. In my Utopia every one carries a gun.

Vacation. Go to Two Medicine Lake in Glacier N.P. Find Twin Falls. Just up from the bottom on the Right side of the falls is a dry rock ledge up against the water. Lay down. Put your hat over your face. Now begin to sleep like you never have before.

Writing. Like sweat on my skin are penned words to my mind. A purging fact of focused exertion.

Xylem. Waxing like a candle dipped in time. A new layer every year.

Yes Ma’am. Said low and slow. This one works every time.

Zeit. I never have enough.