September 9, 2008

My daughter is telling me all about which boys she likes the most at school.  She’s nine.  NINE!  I can’t tell which is worse.  The fact that she, like my Wife, thinks smelly, hairy boys (well men for the Wife) are a good thing.  Or, that at nine the part of her brain that makes you girls like smelly, hairy, loud, obnoxious boys is pumping it’s venom into her blood stream.  Don’t you know that we smell our drawers to see if they’re good for one more day!.  Don’t you know we depend on you to know better?  HOW does my perfect, beautiful, intelligent, & light filled daughter look at a pile of loutish little mud heathens and think,”Oh boy!”?  How do any of you do that?  Do you have any idea how many guns I need to buy now?  And some barbed wire..and some alligators…. Guard dogs.  Big ones.  Like twenty feet tall or something.




  1. i am so sorry.

    My soon-to-be nine year-old came crying to me a few weeks ago because the ‘boy i love’ likes her friend instead of her.

    First off, he is obviously a moron for not adoring my baby. Secondly, i am so glad that he is cos she’s just a baby!

    i really need to buy her a pony. 😦

    c – Yes that a great idea! Distraction. Ponies are good but hard on the furniture. I’d personally like a Lama but that wont fly. Maybe I can fill her time & mind with Ridding lessons, Karate, Dance, & Baseball. Ooo and Shooting. Heh heh! Your right though. We need to give them something to do other that look at stinky boys. Dobry.

  2. I am rolling around on the floor laughing at your latest post.

    I have only one thing to say load 7 1/2 SHOT GAME LOADS for the 12 Gauge.

    Just enough load to run them off with a few holes.

    immwia – I’m so glad you find this entertaining. It’s killing ME. But yes, A shotgun IS on the list. You know… I could send her to live with you. She’d love that. I’d miss her eventually. 😀

  3. HA HA! Omigosh you are such a Dad!
    My daughter will be 12 in December and still thinks boys are gross and immature (thank goodness). She has, however, discovered the Jonas Brothers, so I guess it’s kind of a delayed tradeoff. I’m thankful that she hasn’t developed an interest in boys (real ones) yet, because I’M not ready to deal with everything that this kind of thing brings on.

    You know, I’m not a gun-person and I’m a mom, so I deal with things a little different than my daughter’s father might. But when I think about my daughter and the boy thing, it wouldn’t be a stretch for me to become an avid gun-polisher 🙂

    Great post, Polar….every daughter needs her Dad in her corner.

    Chantal – HA HA? HA HA, You Say? Well that’s fair. Yeah I’m a Dad and right proud of it! Have you told your daughter that she’s a genius? You should. Can we ever be ready to deal with that kind of stuff?
    We, the Wife & I, tell both kids that we have their back. They hear it but they’re still kids. The world swirls around their heads each day. I remember how unfocused everything was. Always getting hit sideways when I was looking forward.
    We like to interact with them on our terms. To bring them up a notch out of the mire. It’s hard for them to see what we see. We ask them to give us blind faith. All the while telling them not to blindly follow others.
    I’ve always liked farms. The Sun ALWAYS rises and the cows ALWAYS need milked. No guesswork.

    “Gun-polisher” = priceless.

  4. I might need the gun if I had to raise a child. I am just hoping I don’t screw up the dog too much.

    🙂 LOVE YOU POLAR thanks for the brevity.

    immwia – With your attention & G’s occasional jerky scraps that dog is loving you & life. Don’t wooy about the kids I’ll get over it, somehow. Thanks.

  5. Hey….I think Karate lessons would be great….then she would always know how and where to nail a boy when being bothered….

    Irish – That would work but I fear she’d practice on her brother first. Something to do with the fact that he likes to torment her from time to time. OR she’d just have to kick the ass of every boy in her school. Not that I would have a problem with that or anything…

  6. Just read that cute post.I never comment on blogs..this is a first for me. But I had to say that I, a mother aged 52, and my teenage daughters-none of us like smelly, sweaty, burly, muscular, hairy guys!!!!!!!!
    I never have and never will.
    My daughters like guys with glasses “because it makes it look like they are at least intelligent”..and they currently find Asian guys attractive because they usually do not have beards, or muscles and look exceptionally CLEAN!
    So…there you are. Not ALL women and girls are crazed for those sweaty, macho types.

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